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“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet ?” -William Shakespear |
smoking
A Change of Heart
Understanding why we smoke gives us important clues as to why it is so hard to give up. There is more to it than meets the eye.
Many people have tried to stop smoking on several occasions but haven't succeeded. It all begins with a decision. A clear decision is the first step to reaching any goal if that goal has value. The real question to be asked is, "do you really want to stop smoking"?. It may be others who make you feel guilty about smoking, where in actual fact you really quite enjoy it. Telling yourself that you should give it up when you don't really want to will create stress and pressure in your life and make you feel guilty every time you light up. It's a matter of being realistic, if you don't really want to change a habit it's a matter of sorting out what you really want and why you want to do it.
Stress is a very important component to any addiction including smoking. When a person is under pressure there is a need for expression. For example, by avoiding the washing up you put yourself under pressure. By doing the washing up you transform the pressure into activity in getting the washing up done. Consequently when it is completed you feel better, the weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you have succeeded in changing something destructive to your health into something constructive. This situation is fine when it is taken on its own but in many people's lives there may be many situations which need addressing. This becomes compounded when a person cannot do anything about all their problems at once. The classical symptoms of stress become noticeable, the headaches, the tight neck, the acid stomach, the nervous diarrhoea, etc. These symptoms can be interpreted as the way the body attempts to use up the "energy of worry". Its the body's way of trying to do something with the "energy of worry" when its owner will not or cannot do something to constructively transform the worry into appropriate action. This is where smoking comes in. Smoking can be seen as a consolidation loan of stress. A person has 20 worries which may manifest in the body as 20 types of stress. If they take up smoking it's a way of redirecting the stress away from the tight muscles and wound up nervous system toward the lungs and mouth. When a person has a cigarette they are conning their body into thinking they are doing something about their stress. This is fine for a while, just like going on holiday and making the worries go away for a while, but if the person does not or cannot make inroads into doing something constructively about managing their life in a better way the addiction and habit of smoking takes a tighter hold. In time the lungs become damaged because they are not designed to take the stress in this way. If a person has smoked for 20 years then often they have not been dealing with some form of stress in their life constructively, they may be able to give up for a while but, once their are exposed to the particular stressful situation it pulls at their weak link in their management of stress and they end up going back to the old ways of dealing with it by lighting up again.
The most important rule about changing any habit is getting back on the bike when you fall off straight away. If you fall into the old habit recognise that this is what you have done, reaffirm the commitment and start the new trend the very next day, this gives you emotional strength. Every time you give in and leave it for a few days to start again it is ten times harder to kick the habit again.
Hassling a person about their smoking, adds to their problems. There is a need for re-education in the way they manage their life and the last thing they need is the problem compounded by non-smokers and those who have kicked the habit to make them feel guilty about it.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet ?”
Understanding why we smoke gives us important clues as to why it is so hard to give up. There is more to it than meets the eye.
Many people have tried to stop smoking on several occasions but haven't succeeded. It all begins with a decision. A clear decision is the first step to reaching any goal if that goal has value. The real question to be asked is, "do you really want to stop smoking"?. It may be others who make you feel guilty about smoking, where in actual fact you really quite enjoy it. Telling yourself that you should give it up when you don't really want to will create stress and pressure in your life and make you feel guilty every time you light up. It's a matter of being realistic, if you don't really want to change a habit it's a matter of sorting out what you really want and why you want to do it.
Stress is a very important component to any addiction including smoking. When a person is under pressure there is a need for expression. For example, by avoiding the washing up you put yourself under pressure. By doing the washing up you transform the pressure into activity in getting the washing up done. Consequently when it is completed you feel better, the weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you have succeeded in changing something destructive to your health into something constructive. This situation is fine when it is taken on its own but in many people's lives there may be many situations which need addressing. This becomes compounded when a person cannot do anything about all their problems at once. The classical symptoms of stress become noticeable, the headaches, the tight neck, the acid stomach, the nervous diarrhoea, etc. These symptoms can be interpreted as the way the body attempts to use up the "energy of worry". Its the body's way of trying to do something with the "energy of worry" when its owner will not or cannot do something to constructively transform the worry into appropriate action. This is where smoking comes in. Smoking can be seen as a consolidation loan of stress. A person has 20 worries which may manifest in the body as 20 types of stress. If they take up smoking it's a way of redirecting the stress away from the tight muscles and wound up nervous system toward the lungs and mouth. When a person has a cigarette they are conning their body into thinking they are doing something about their stress. This is fine for a while, just like going on holiday and making the worries go away for a while, but if the person does not or cannot make inroads into doing something constructively about managing their life in a better way the addiction and habit of smoking takes a tighter hold. In time the lungs become damaged because they are not designed to take the stress in this way. If a person has smoked for 20 years then often they have not been dealing with some form of stress in their life constructively, they may be able to give up for a while but, once their are exposed to the particular stressful situation it pulls at their weak link in their management of stress and they end up going back to the old ways of dealing with it by lighting up again.
The most important rule about changing any habit is getting back on the bike when you fall off straight away. If you fall into the old habit recognise that this is what you have done, reaffirm the commitment and start the new trend the very next day, this gives you emotional strength. Every time you give in and leave it for a few days to start again it is ten times harder to kick the habit again.
Hassling a person about their smoking, adds to their problems. There is a need for re-education in the way they manage their life and the last thing they need is the problem compounded by non-smokers and those who have kicked the habit to make them feel guilty about it.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet ?”